bookmark_border“Sunday in the South” – incredible new song and music video

If you haven’t listened to the new song “Sunday in the South,” or watched the music video, you really should! You can do so on YouTube here.

The song, by Shenandoah, Jason Aldean, and Luke Bryan, contains a verse about the Confederate flag, and the video features a Confederate statue. Since the horrifying events that took place beginning in late spring of 2020, I never thought a mainstream song would mention anything having to do with the Confederacy in a positive or even neutral light. But that is exactly what the three singers do in this song and video. 

“A ragged rebel flag flies high above it all, popping in the wind like an angry cannonball. Now the holes of history are cold and still; they still smell the powder burning and they probably always will.”

What is particularly notable is that in the video, the camera lingers on the dates “1861-1865” on the pedestal of the statue. Making it clear to the viewer that this is, indeed, a Confederate statue, and not just a random, generic statue. Making it clear that the makers of the video know that this is a Confederate statue and chose to feature it in the video with this knowledge.

This is remarkable and admirable. The song and video are beautiful, and I love the statement that they make. Listening to this song, and watching this video, makes me feel seen and included after nearly five years of the exact opposite of this. Salute to Shenandoah, Jason Aldean, Luke Bryan, and everyone involved in making this video, for both their talent and their courage. 

bookmark_border“Belongs in the dumpster of history”

“Belongs in the dumpster of history,” you wrote, under a picture of one of the few things in the world that is beautiful and meaningful.

How could you see something magical, one of the few sources of happiness and joy that actually exist, and think that it belongs in a metaphorical “dumpster”?

But then I realized. You’ve never had to deal with the pain, the shame, of not fitting in. Of not being able to make friends. Of having everything you say, everything you wear, everything you do, criticized. Of being told that if only you changed the way you talked, dressed, stood, sat, moved, felt, thought, spent your time, then you would be healthy, and people would like you. You were never bullied and had your parents respond by telling you that you should stop wearing dresses and stop wearing your hair in pigtails, because then people would be less likely to bully you.

You’re not different. You don’t think for yourself. You follow social norms. You have friends. You fit in. You’re a bland, mundane person who is just like everyone else. 

You’ve never suffered. You’ve never felt pain. 

In fact, you’re not really a person at all, because if you were, you would have a soul, and if you had a soul, then you too would be filled with awe and wonder at the statue that is being built, rather than claiming that it belongs in a metaphorical “dumpster.”

You’re a lump of flesh and blood with no soul, no mind, and no capacity for independent thought. 

God forbid that people who are different from you exist. 

God forbid that people who are different from you be honored with monuments. 

Can’t have that. Can’t have any diversity allowed to exist in the world. Can’t have anything that actually makes life worth living. 

Clearly, in your eyes, only people like you have the right to exist, and anyone who is different deserves to be put into a metaphorical “dumpster.”

Without the Confederacy, history is bland and mundane, just a long tale of mindless, conformist people who are all the same, who all think the same, and who all do the same things. And what is the point of that? What is the point of studying that, honoring that, being interested in that? What is the point of living at all?

There is none.

The Confederacy is my special interest. The Confederacy is what makes my life worth living. The Confederacy is magical to me. It is the most beautiful thing in the world, and nothing else can compare. How could you, how dare you, how could you possibly consider my special interest to be something that belongs in a dumpster? 

in conclusion, I hope that you die a slow and painful death, and that once you’re gone no one remembers you. That’s what you deserve for being a mindless bully. That’s what you deserve for having the cruelty, nastiness, and utter moral bankruptcy to claim that my special interest “belongs in the dumpster of history.” In reality, you are the one who belongs in the dumpster of history. You have no empathy, no character, no mind, no capacity for independent thought, and no soul.

bookmark_borderSociety’s appalling inconsistency regarding Ukraine and the Confederacy

“Fighting for freedom, fighting for the right to live peacefully and independently”

During the Olympics, one of the commentators used these words to characterize the efforts of Ukraine during their war with Russia.

And it struck me that this is exactly what the Confederate States of America was doing during the war with the United States from 1861 to 1865.

The Ukrainian people are deified and worshipped by our society, praised effusively at nearly every opportunity for their bravery, resilience, and strength. People fall all over themselves in their eagerness to express their solidarity. During sporting events like the Olympics, audiences are reminded, again and again, about how inspirational the Ukrainian athletes are, the difficult conditions they’ve had to overcome, the sacrifices they’ve made, and the fact that they are fighting for something larger than themselves.

Yet the Confederates, who were fighting for the exact same thing, receive the exact opposite treatment. They are unanimously condemned as racists, white supremacists, “traitors,” and “insurrectionists” (as if defying authority is somehow bad). It is accepted as self-evident that they do not deserve to be honored in any way. Their names erased from streets, buildings, and military bases, their commemorations canceled, their monuments sickeningly destroyed in a systematic and relentless campaign of obliteration.

In the eyes of society, fighting for freedom is noble and honorable when done by Ukrainians, but “treason” and “insurrection” when done by southern Americans.

The fact that two nations, fighting for the same thing, are treated so differently, demonstrates the utter hypocrisy and lack of logic of our society.

Freedom. The right to live peacefully and independently.

These are things that all people deserve. These are things that the people of the Confederate States of America deserved just as much as the people of Ukraine do.

bookmark_borderA small reversal in the trend of intolerance: Confederate school names restored!

A sliver of good news that gives me hope in these dark times: two schools in Virginia have restored Confederate school names!

Stonewall Jackson High School and Ashby Lee Elementary School (named for Turner Ashby and Robert E. Lee) had been renamed to Mountain View High School and Honey Run Elementary School during the nationwide war against people who are different that began following the death of George Floyd. (Waging a war against people who are different in response to a cop killing a person who happens to be black is about as logical as it sounds.) But now, in a triumph for true inclusion, diversity, and human decency, the school board has voted to change the names back!

This is fantastic news. This is a victory for all people who are different from the norm, like me, because Confederate place names, holidays, statues, and monuments are symbols of inclusion and acceptance of people who are different. The restored school names send a message of inclusion and acceptance of students who are different. They make a statement that it is okay to be different. They send the message that students who have trouble fitting in – whether they are nerdy, dress differently than the other kids, like different music, watch different TV shows, have different interests, or are on the autism spectrum – deserve to be included and accepted for who they are.

Taking the Confederate school names away was a cruel and mean-spirited decision amidst nearly four years of ubiquitous and soul-crushing cruelty and meanness. It is a tiny iota of justice, and brings a tiny glimmer of hope, that the names have been changed back.

Sources: Monuments Across Dixie and Confederate States of America Facebook posts

bookmark_border“The flag of traitors and losers”

“The flag of traitors.”

Yes, the flag of people who thought for themselves, and resisted authority, as opposed to practicing obedience, compliance, and mindless conformity.

I’m not sure why you consider that to be a bad thing.

“The flag of losers.”

Yes, the flag of people that you oppressed and harmed. That flag of people that you actively inflicted pain on, using your power, strength, and wealth. The flag of people whose land you invaded. The flag of people whose rights you violated. The flag of people that you forced to remain part of the same country against their will.

I’m not sure how that makes those people and their flag bad, and you somehow good.

The fact that you would call the Confederates “traitors” and “losers,” as if these things are insults, means that you are a bully, a bigot, a conformist, and an authoritarian.

The fact that the Confederates “lost” does not reflect badly on them. It reflects badly on you.

bookmark_border“Are we the only country the places monuments to TRAITORS???”

So said an idiotic comment that I saw on Facebook the other day.

In other words…

Are we the only country that places monuments to PEOPLE WHO THINK FOR THEMSELVES???

Are we the only country that places monuments to PEOPLE WHO STAND UP TO AUTHORITY???

Are we the only country that places monuments to PEOPLE WHO ARE DIFFERENT FROM THE MAJORITY IN ANY WAY???

Oh no, not that!!!

God forbid that a country put up monuments to people who are at all unique, distinctive, or remarkable.

God forbid that a country put up monuments to people who are, you know, actually worthy of being honored with monuments.

God forbid that a country put up monuments honoring anything other than compliance, obedience, and mindless conformity.

In reality, the people that this idiot considers “traitors” are not only abundantly worthy of being honored with monuments; they are the only people who are.

bookmark_border“Is it ever morally acceptable to visit a Confederate historical site?”

“Is it ever morally acceptable to visit a Confederate historical site?”

Such is the question that was asked in a recent New York Times ethics column.

It sickens and disgusts me that someone would even ask this question.

The Confederacy is my special interest.

It is everything that makes my life worth living.

It is beauty, it is joy, it is happiness, it is freedom.

The fact that I would even need to defend the moral acceptability of the thing that makes my life worth living is appalling and abhorrent, and makes me feel sick to my stomach.

But this very attitude – that the Confederacy is somehow immoral – is not new.

This is the first time that I have seen the question explicitly asked, the first time that I have seen the words “morally acceptable” printed in the same sentence as the words “Confederate historical site.” But the attitude that the Confederacy is somehow immoral is precisely the reason for the pain and trauma that I have experienced over the past three years. This attitude is exactly what motivates the countless atrocities that have been carried out against Confederate statues, monuments, and historical makers of all sorts all over the country and even the world. The atrocities that have been carried out against me.

And the attitude underlying these actions is precisely why they have been so painful and traumatizing, and why I characterize them as atrocities. It is not simply the loss of the statues and monuments – collectively the thing that makes my life worth living – that has inflicted such trauma and pain. It is the fact that their removal is a moral condemnation of the statues themselves, the ideas that they stand for, and the people who like them.

The removal of Confederate statues is a moral condemnation of me.

If statues had been destroyed accidentally – say by an earthquake or a tornado – it would be sad, and I would grieve their loss. But the destruction of the statues is not accidental. It is intentional, systematic, and pervasive. What has made the past three years so bad is that in addition to my grief – layered on top of an already agonizing experience – are the shame, anger, and rage of being almost unanimously rejected, repudiated, and morally condemned by our society.

This intentional destruction is a way of saying: who I am is immoral. Who I am is morally unacceptable.

That is why the removal of Confederate statues hurts so much. Because it is a moral condemnation of me. For being autistic. For being different. For being a rebel. For supporting the losing side. For liking something that most people do not like.

In a society where things that used to be considered immoral – abortion, homosexuality, having a baby out of wedlock – have become almost unanimously accepted, it hurts that the very essence of who I am is morally condemned.

It hurts that someone would even ask the question of whether the very essence of who I am is ever morally acceptable, let alone that someone would answer in the negative, or even think about answering in the negative. (I did not read the column itself, because I know that doing so would be too painful for me to be able to tolerate, but my guess is that the ethicist at the Times did not provide a positive answer.)

It hurts that the question would even be framed in this way.

I am a good person. Many people would likely disagree, but I genuinely believe that. I haven’t done anything wrong by being autistic, by being different, by being a rebel, by supporting the losing side, by liking something that most people do not like. I haven’t done anything to deserve moral condemnation.

So I affirm: not only is visiting a Confederate historical site perfectly morally acceptable; it is morally good. Always. All the time. In fact, it is the most morally good thing imaginable. There is nothing more morally good than Confederate history, the sites, artifacts, and public art associated with it, and the decision to support it by visiting those sites.

The real question that should be asked: is a world without Confederate historical sites morally acceptable?

The answer is no. Obviously not. I feel more strongly about that answer than I do anything else in the world.

bookmark_borderAutism Acceptance Month and Confederate History Month

April is celebrated as both Autism Acceptance Month and Confederate History Month. These things might seem completely unrelated… but for me they are not.

I am on the autism spectrum. I have always experienced the world differently from other people, seen things differently, and thought differently from those around me. Until I was an adult, I never knew that there was a word for the way my mind works. I just thought I was “weird” and “mixed up” and “wrong” for not liking the things other people liked, and for having such difficulty with things like riding a bike, tying my shoes, playing sports, participating in conversations, and making friends, which seemed to come so easily to other people. I didn’t feel that I had much in common with other kids or adults at school, or even my own family members.

I did, however, feel a sense of identity with people from history. My favorite thing to do was to read about them, look at pictures of them, and imagine what their lives were like. I gravitated towards the historical figures who were under-appreciated, misunderstood, and looked down upon, probably because I considered myself to have these characteristics as well. This included historical figures from the Confederacy. Although I am not descended from anyone who fought for the Confederacy, I have always felt a sense of kinship with them because they were underdogs and rebels. They were portrayed in history class as the “bad guys,” but as I read more about them, I realized that they had their own viewpoints, perspectives, and stories, which are too frequently ignored. As someone on the autism spectrum, this was something that I could relate to.

It is difficult to put into words how much happiness historical figures have given me, and how important they are to me. Historical figures made me feel understood, and like I wasn’t alone. Therefore, it is difficult to put into words how heartbreaking and infuriating it has been to witness the horrible things that have happened to Confederate statues over the past few years. These events have made me feel like I am being morally condemned and like I am having my greatest source of joy and meaning taken away from me. As an autistic person who has spent my life trying my best to get through the demands of each day, and to be a good student, a good friend, a good employee, and a good person, I truly don’t believe I deserve this. With so much emphasis being placed on diversity and inclusion, why do I not get to feel accepted or included? Why are people like me no longer represented in art, monuments, memorials, or media? Why does society not acknowledge my perspective, my feelings, my story, or my experiences?

Because of my own personal experiences, both autism and Confederate heritage are integral parts of my identity. Both of these things have helped to shape the person that I am and the perspective through which I see the world, a perspective that deserves to be honored and recognized just as much as anyone else’s. In honor of two important and meaningful parts of my life, I will be celebrating the month of April as both Autism Acceptance Month and Confederate History Month.

Marissa and Stonewall